Because why not?

Lacking time and peace

of mind. Ignore artistry:

Try drive-thru haiku.

You think I’m kidding? Here we go.

February looms

Christmas tree defies the slump

Baby snores at breast.

Freeze Now, inside or out! Shiny Appliances in Mid-January

Helllllllllo, 2016!

My theory of starting a post in stray 15 minute spurts hasn't panned out, nor has the "buck up and get a second wind after baby goes to bed," for lo that does not take into account my usual ughitswinterhidingisbetter exacerbated by the brain-mushifying aspect of babying throughout the day. And so many mundane large and small householdy things pulling at one's sleeve. But really, who hasn't been there? So I haven't settled on a successful plan of attack for bringing creativity reliably back into the picture. Ohhhh, the former wealth of idle musing time~! But, somewhere, there is hope.

And in the kitchen, there is also a hulking, new refrigerator, shinier beneath its protective cling-film than it will ever be again. The 12 degree weather, so unappreciated otherwise, is perfect for storing the entire contents of the prior fridge in my car, though it does make me more likely to type in my study than to retrieve it all again. But! The shiny new fridge is certainly exciting! Bigger! Consistently cold! Makes its own ice!* Shows your food in a better light**! Makes you a more inspired cook***! Desperate for fields of tiny fingerprints!

*once we get a water line hooked up, eh.
**i.e. last light stopped working years ago. silly, what you get used to. lights, so conveeeeeeenient!
***Just agree.

The deliveryman approves: "This is a nice fridge. People pay more for Samsung, they think is better, but no: LG is better. In delivering for many years, I hear a few complaints about LG. But very few." He is removing the fridge doors, which are hinged on the wrong side. The baby has finished her Greek yogurt and apple-pumpkin puree and is alternately peering up at me, eyeing him, and jumping from the automatic drill. I switch to bread and peanut butter. She smacks the high chair tray whenever I pause in bread delivery. I maintain a certain speed, as she currently devolves into chipmunk mode if too much food is immediately available.

"How old is it?"

"She's 10 months old today." SMACK. The baby eyes me. I tear a tiny piece of bread. She frowns at it, stuffs it in her mouth with her entire hand. Gums peanut butter around.

"Oh, 10 months, that's good time. This is a good size fridge, maybe have a little brother or sister. A brother: a boy would be better." LG better, boy, better. I happily buy the first, and don't inquire after the second.

*****

Otherwise, starting to read around for next steps as I progress tortoise-like toward my picture book finish. With all the carving, I have another solid year of work, but at this point, I only have a few pages which completely lack drawings. That said, I'm sad to say I need to revisit storyboarding.  

Interloper detail

But that's ridiculous, you say, that's why you storyboard in the first place, to plot it all out. True. true. And then one gets all focused on individual designs and fully know that some designs make a two page spread, and that others must be facing each other, but somehow a couple individual pages sneak in and throw everything off. The interlopers have pizzazz, they have energy, they can't be eliminated now. How did this happen, who was manning my ship?? WHO IS THE PROJECT MANAGER HERE I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE PROJECT MANAGER. I don't know. May I distract you with a half-gone carton of coconut "ice cream," or a solid brick of orange mystery? No? Well, it's literally back to the drawing board. Last night I scrawled out a large newsprint sheet of picture book thumbnails, to once again confirm that yes, I had indeed
screwed myself up a bit. It's possible that if I divorce myself from the completed woodblock prints, I'll be able to imagine how a particular image could be sliced and diced into a different-but-better Cakeasaurus tale...

Initial googling connected me with templates, but not so much help with the problem solving. Naturally I ran across a handful of promising sites about high caliber picture books:

• Design of the Picture Book made me want to own Whatever Happened to my Sister?
• Self-described "entertainment channel" around literacy All the Wonders could help me lose track of time (see the entry for last year's big bang "Leo: A Ghost Story," which has a related craft component, video, behind-the-scenes making-of, and podcast with the illustrator) 
• Picture Book Makers boosts a great stable, including Vivian Schwarz {check out the
  
  videos of her reading her books, they're great! More sneak peeks and process shots from the author and illustrator at her blog} and Emily Hughes, author and illustrator of Wild

Ho, ho, ho! Still Time Left to Buy a Tree!

see also: the lovely willingness of my partner.

Ahhh, Day of Wonders!

...Or at least, one of copious sugar, a bubble bath with a damp novel*, and a much appreciated "bang trim."** It has been a surprising day, with the best indicator being my Jewish fiance standing on a curb like so:

He was gamely waving and ho-ho-ho-ing. He spoke with a curious accent: jolly, sure, but originating from where exactly? "Get your Christmas trees HEEyuh!" Cars were honking. The handful of Christmas trees remaining in the Washtenaw AlAnon lot were small in stature, but not overtly Charlie Brownish. 

It was too cold for Santa to not have Santa gloves.

<-- Javier said my smile when I pulled into the parking lot was the biggest he has seen in a while. Gleeful mockery aside, you can probably see the inner child is all "SAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYNTAAAA!" 

My actual child, meanwhile, was inside, being hefted by Javier's dear friend (and snazzy elf, to boot); and sheltered from the cold and her recognizable-but-odd Papa.

they emerged for a photo op.

We are in our early stages of navigating different religions/cultures. Last Fall I had stressed that baby aside, I *definitely* needed to continue having a tree, though I understood that it was not a shared necessity; this season, I got a smaller one that would fit outside of Baby's area, and have been super super happy that Javier has approved its compact twinkliness. It probably helps that it makes me gleeful and more prone to bake things like snappy anise stars / dark chocolate pistachio bark / chocolate peppermint bars. We currently lack a menorah, but this will most certainly be rectified before this time next year.

& babbles at fake greenery that sprung up overnight

She eschews the spoon, wears bibs she can not read

I like to think we'll raise a child who will be savvy at navigating through different cultures, religions, schools of thought, and who will embrace that which appeals, question the questionable, release that which does not resonate; and not interpret confusion as overly alarming, or as a lack. Tall order? And maybe this, too, is self-justifying blather from someone who tends to get sucked in by visual trappings and rituals, but is, by no means, devout. Which is not to say that I'm apologetic for not being a person of faith; I think self knowledge is of the utmost importance and faith in any kind of higher power can never be forced on anyone who doesn't already contain a germ of this within themselves.

As of two days ago, our daughter turned 9 months old. Curious and strange to consider that her life outside my body has now surpassed the one she had within it. Curiouser and curiouser to consider Javier and I have been on this collective journey for over a year and a half now. I blogged about it, three days ago. Imagine a good post here: solid, kinda funny, with a few surprising twists. It was worth your time. I shifted my own perspective through the writing of it, and temporarily felt more settled, as I do after satisfying posts. I was, however, writing in a restaurant with dodgy internet, and the connection must have cut out wayyyyyy early in my writing, because the entire post evaporated. Gone, gone, gone.

So! Suffice it to say that I haven't lost my essential self, the baby is and shall be a crazy handful, the Cakeasaurus picture book is humming along (only 4 pages left that need to be drawn from scratch! lots of carving ahead for 2016), and Tiny Expo was a wonderful re-entry into shows. I'm not sure how many shows I'll want to take on in the coming year, but this one was a great reminder of why I (sometimes) love doing them -- inquisitive and enthusiastic people, bonding over mutual loves; healthy sales and new art discoveries. Why is it so refreshing when strangers find you funny and/or odd? Not a bad way to mark the year's end. In the next few days, we are Pennsylvania- and Florida-bound for our families -- many more plane flights for baby, oodles of Baby love, and hopefully some hours drifting in the Ocean. Happy Holidays, Winter Solstice, New Year's All!

---------------------------------------

*Barbara Kingsolver's Flight Behavior -- so good!: "...she was dismayed by the crowd of people who stood close together on her own front lawn, all facing the house as if expecting it to perform. They looked dressed for a camping trip, in boots and backpacks and puffy down parkas. As she drew closer, she saw some white cardboard placards. And heard chanting. A lot of energy directed toward a house where no one was home. Don't shoot till you see the whites of their eyes, she thought, a directive that was never meant for nearsighted people." This passage in particular reminds me of Tom Drury's dry wit, though the story's sense of yearning, constraint, is more front-and-center than its humor. 

**The latter comes just in time for our holiday visit home to my family, which will likely bolster my mother's anxiety that our daughter will be "confused," what with two parents having (nice, streamlined!) short hair. As discussed, we are already providing numerous confusion points for her, but this is a favorite for my Mom. But truly, if the babe is foiled by hair length, we're clearly in trouble. I'm more confident about the baby's future ability to navigate gender and sexual norms than I am that I'll escape the current stage without being savaged by her four newly descended teeth. She has bitten me with the lower two, and that was alarming enough for all involved parties. Hopefully my past exclamations are recalled just enough to fend off more experimental momchomping.

Tiny Expo! And Snacky Badgers

I used the terms "Summer" and "Fall" the other day and Javier reminded me that it's November. Michigan is trying to catch up with some weather nastiness (last Friday's high wind advisory, Saturday's rain, snow, hail pellets), but in between we're still getting days in the 50s and 60s -- bonus, bonus, bonus days! Let's buy balloons, let's throw a party! The Inner Eeyore intones: "we'll only pay for it later~~"

In the meantime, here's a little bit of local celebratoryness, for which I'm making busy like a bee. I'm excited to be a vendor at the Tiny Expo, held at the Ann Arbor Library (home to huge Connect Four sets and checkoutable theramins! to baby playgroups and mesmerizing aquariums!). Behold this year's enticing poster: 

Wouldn't we all go to more fairs if we had confidence bears, foxes and rabbits would be among the attendees? ...So, something else to stave off the early evening dark. I have been building up my woodblock card inventory, playing with collages, and have steadily chipped away at the picture book pages*, so I'll have a lot to share on a little ole table. The baby will most likely make an appearance as well, though for the sake of my back, Javier will also be with her.

*hah! hah! hah! woodblock humor!

Sneak peek of prints hot off the press from Studio Wednesday:

Next Up -- New Card Design, for the Discerning Snacker

An enthusiastic, but generous, Badger

Brand Spanking New, Just for Cards:

Roasting Brussel Sprouts, Eating Spoonfuls of Cookie Dough

...Increasing attention from little one will, in theory, force me to reform my sporadically ridiculous eating habits. In the meantime, it is 4:12 on Monday, October 26th: high time for a picture book progress post! Quickly, quickly, as la Bebe will be transferred back to my care shortly. She looks like a wee gymnast in her floral navy onesie and she is covering impressive floorspace with an aggressive commando crawl. She would happily pound this keyboard and lick my monitor, but will also initiate the grand back arch of protest if kept on one's lap for too long. So, here we go -- just listed on Etsy:

Page 28:

After the shouting, before the cake eating...Here we witness our precocious hero explaining to Cakeasaurus just how cakes come to be. If you were (/are) obsessed with getting your daily cake by nefarious ends, and you were (/are?) a sneaky monster, you may not be well versed in baking basics. Quimby tries to break it down...

Woodblock print, edition: 15, available here. 

Page 29: 

"All Good Cakes Are Born from Books": a fine statement, and most would agree, aside from rare bakers like my maternal grandmother, who could whip up an angel food cake ("light as air!"), bookless, with nary a measuring cup or spoon...The rest of us, though, must use recipes as road maps, to take us where we want to go. Cakeasaurus, being a dessert thief NOT a dessert creator, finds the concept a bit suspect. 

Edition size: 50. Available for sale here. 

All stages

 

Pages 18-19: You saw this being carved (plus maybe a test print?), but here's the final version of "Quimby Lay Awake..." This is an eensy tiny edition, but I must confess I'm rather of fond of this one.

I wanted it to capture some of the magical surreal quality of nighttime wakefulness as a child. I always get a kick out of playing around with the lettering and I think the words troop across the page pretty well. 

"This print marks a pivotal scene in my Cakeasaurus picture book: the fateful night where monster-in-search-of-cake meets five-year-old to be. Cakes have been disappearing for months now! Despite all precautions, the townspeople experience ongoing cake deprivation. The situation is untenable. And here we are: Cakeasaurus outside, Quimby within."

Available here.

My keen desire to sidestep departmental meetings notwithstanding...

Thank you for coming, it's great to see so many faces here. I have called this meeting today because now is a time of much needed change. I hope to provide a positive springboard to address everyone's concerns and to make certain that the changes we implement will be both embraced and contribute to a strong foundation for our continued growth.

First, it has come to my attention that there has been much "watercooler" discussion about the wholesale movement of tall furniture in our department, followed by, shall we say, migrations of individual pieces, without obtaining approval through official channels. I don't want to dwell on this behavior, other than to say that I need to be cc'ed on all such proposals going forward; I should not have to point out that while I will soon be fully mobile, I am not yet. And in order to oversee the daily workings of this organization, I need to be aware of all facets of our physical environment. Preferably by gumming, as this has been deemed the best judge of character.

And moving on ~ M, you're out of turn, as well as invasive. Again, we are all part of a team here. We need to foster communication -- ideate collectively -- and from this we will draw the optimal road map for our future. If we each independently decide to make these little detours, they are just that -- they fritter away energy without advancing our larger goals. M, I will hold your scoopy rod until the next break.

J, please hold your questions, while I take an initial read.

Long end more trustable than scoopy end (but also: gaggy). Does not melt from saliva bath. Lower chewability than giraffe; still affords pleasing resistance. Surface-bangability, but easily leaps to the floor. Taste: dairy-reminiscent, with displeasing foreign trace notes. Color does not affect experience...Speaking of detours! This is a perfect illustration of their hazards: my focus has been completely altered. Let's reconvene tomorrow: until then, consider what you feel to be the most important building blocks for our near-term future. Get creative! Blue sky thinking! Powerpoints permissable if narrated in sing-song.

Creating Order (Child and Adult Editions) or The Specter of Tall Furniture

Yesterday was a fruitful printing day in my friend Val's studio -- so fruitful that the tiredness still radiates across the span of my back. I usually feel all-over tired these days as a new parent, but this carried it to a different level. Overdid it? Possibly, but take studio time when you can get it, best to push through a bit, right? I neglected to take pics, but I must say I'm RAWTHER excited about the design I editioned, "All Good Cakes are Born from Books." Simple but pretty nifty! Cakeasaurus doesn't quite believe it, however. You'll see. They're strewn all over the studio, drying, along with myriad partial prints for cards (birds! houses! candle-shining cakes!).

I was able to studio, courtesy of Javier's weekly Bring-Baby-to-Work day, which so far has been working for all involved (any baby malcontents are, naturally quiet). We try to exchange a few texts to help the baby-free person and yesterday he sent me this:

First of all, that would be laughable, as cluttery/jumbled as her parents are, but that would also be life, wouldn't it? It could merely be a function of her wanting to push things along, which she did until she quickly hit the edges of her baby pen. Sorry Baby, you must be contained! We hereby roll out the first of many, "It's for your own good."

But still, kind of funny, and what a fun time, to be anticipating which ways Baby will go. Personality-wise, as well as physically... And *how*, with all her engaged grabbiness and energy...the childproofing is daunting. Namely all the bookcases and CD cases which need to be affixed to the wall. Plus any eensy things which come into view and a little red sign flashes on in my brain: "choking hazard choking hazard choking hazard." Being a well trained consumer, when my environment feels most out of control, I turn to spending to make things feel a bit more reasonable. But it's for my own good, nay, for the good of the family! So anyhoo, I saw a small, sweet oak dresser that I think will be the solution for all the CDs in the dining room area.

They're all residing in this, my only attempt at furniture making to date.












In case it's not obvious from the photo, it has a homicidal bent* and has been silently begging for toddlers for years, just so that it may topple over in a terrible clatter of sliding CD cases and befuddled wailing. Until now, a careful advance warning to parents of our house's baby non-compliance has been sufficient, but now I feel the black case redoubling its toddler luring power. On Dumpling's end, she's already clamping onto power chords like she's engaged in a tug of war the rest of us aren't privy to, so the time has come.**

*I built it to be kind, to be useful, to hold ever so many CDs

**Some would also argue that the time has come to go completely digital. "Oooh, that's so cute, you still have CDs!" said my doula this Spring. "No, I mean it's kind of sweet, you know -- quaint -- that you still have them!" She pursed her lips at them like they were a sea of down-at-the-heels Garfield stuffed animals. But I just can't do it. And if you are about to comment at the tapes at the bottom, I have two words for you: hush up.

So here's the improvement. Ain't she swell? Much more self-contained and so much less topply! From the tiny-but-well-curated Annex of Pare Down on Dexter. Well. I will say that CDs don't fit in the top two drawers, so do allll the CDs fit? No -- but for that, I have some lidded wine boxes. Not perfect, but a work in progress. 

I fancy the side detailing

And with that, I'm off to get outside//do some carving work in the basement. It has taken me almost a week to post this, but here's to baby steps! But not too soon~~