You Are: Capable and Dependable, Fun and Calm! We Are: In Flux, In Flux, In Flux

not my baby

I have been reading about separation anxiety. It makes me anxious. Currently, Dumpling is happily indiscriminate: barring diapering and nursing needs, if you get in her face and smile at her, she will eventually laugh silently or beam up at you. Programmed to delight and be delighted. Heh-heh-heh laughs aren't reliable, but are on the upswing; often, she will become utterly blown away by something unremarkable to the rest of us, her eyes grown huge, her mouth a tiny oh, or a dropped open laundry chute. She freezes in anticipation of the next puzzle piece. And she thinks you hold it in your possession. You may give it to her, or you may simply distract her from the current mystery, with a tickle bout or a pendulum swing through the air. Interpersonal connection goes hand in hand with navigating this mystifying life.

But soon, I am led to believe, the baby's sociability will narrow down to only mother or father -- perhaps a few more -- in terms of acceptable friendlies. While I find Baby's spider monkey tendencies endearing in limited form (i.e. removing her from a cloth baby carrier is tricky, as moments after you unpeel her tiny fingers from one rung of side ties, they wrap themselves around the next rung of ties), I cringe at the idea of our future leave-takings heralded by wails of outrage or desparation. And more specifically, what about when this scenario occurs when I am still in the house, with a trusted someone watching the baby, so I can carve or sketch or write? How can I wall it away and pretend my endeavors are weightier than her (fleeting or extended) fear/anger/upset? Where does one purchase a guilt deflection cape? I have been told that as a mother, I will always feel: guilty, inadequate, behind/overwhelmed, with a tinnitus-like background noise of incessant worry. Well luckily, I say, none of those feelings are new. Yes, they say, but this is *different*. Well. Hmm. 

In any case, the key to partially outwitting the separation anxiety (stranger danger!) is to get loved ones and caregivers solidly into the inner circle before the gates shut. Cue the conversation wherein our primary helper tells me about a second interview for a desired full time position closer to her home; which would nix our late afternoon hours. The nerve of people moving around, after one has acclimated to them! Back to the drawing board. Since then, another very fine candidate (gushing recommendation from a daycare owner : "...And it's not just that SHE is excellent, her ENTIRE family knows babies. I would clone her if I could ~~") calls to apologize -- she has also secured a great new full time job and will be moving to Troy, MI, next week. Another seems enthusiastic and sensible during the initial phone call, only to fall silent afterward. Another interviewee seems...mostly? okay...and is quite persistent, but her references never call me back, which seems disquieting. Still, there are good possibilities, but too much seems in this process, just like the hateful online dating. I can no longer discount that, as it brought me Javier. Eh, eh, eh. So um, I hereby summon synchronicity!...That's not quite it, is it? That almost magical coming together of things that fit...Synergy? No. Serendipity, Javier offers. Yesssssss. Again with the seeming: is it a bad sign that I couldn't remember the word on my own? But perhaps it will come together. A new person to help, the magical time to think and create, preserved; Baby kept happy and healthy; all three of us, sane and grateful for it all.

So far, Baby has held true to her current, amiable form. Javier has started taking her to his office once a week, which has been good for growing her fan club members (up with morale, down with productivity!). On those days, when Javier and I eventually speak, Baby is usually gurgling in the background; smiling at everyone and salivating over (/under) the dangling teddy bears of the away-team pack n' play. So far, we seem to be in some early parenthood fairytale land. Not sure how we arrived exactly here; or who holds the crucial puzzle pieces....Or no. We *must* have the puzzle pieces, though some are likely lost, hiding in Javier's car, buried under a winter scarf avalanche... I predict we'll need to break out the jigsaw blades to jerry rig pieces that just.won't.fit.

Happy Moments Plentiful, Happy Hours Rare

Marissa didn't lie about the Kunde Zinfandel. Lov-er-ly.

Weheeeeelll, so I was going to post a flurry of photos, but I am on Vinology's dodgy internet connection, and was, perhaps, overambitious, and clogged it. So I'll start without visual aids... As of yesterday, we are ONE WEEK shy of Baby being 5 months old, which brings us close to almost half a year of Dumpling's existence, which is hard for me to fathom. Today is Baby's day at the office, which meant I woke her up a teensy bit early for her for a good nursing session and then waited for Javier to get his things together and be off. He couldn't help it -- at whatever stage, he kept wandering over. Him, in his bath towel, leaning in, "DADDY" pointing inward,"loves BABY" pointing to her. She gasped and gazed upward, starstruck, pistoned her legs. Her body struggled to convey how utterly exciting he was. "Come ON," I said, "Let's go~~" He harrumphed and eventually got himself and the baby gear good to go, and was off in time for Fresh Air.

Which left me a little time to finish up a new batch of cards before meeting a new artist friend for afternoon tea. Not bad! The past couple days have been a visit to my old existence: yesterday -- > hair cut, followed by a leisurely browse about Salvation Army (with new tweaks of looking for dresses that would A.) make me feel like a properly dressed person while also B.) easily allowing me to whip out my breasts at Baby's whim; plus a fabulous "update" text from babysitter letting me know they had a nice walk, looking at leaves and shadows, and such). Today, extended cafe socializing as if one didn't have many time constraints, followed by Hallelujah! a Happy Hour glass of wine and Thai chicken flatbread outside, because the almost-Fall weather was too beautiful to defy by going back to the house, and down into the basement for carving...

So heartening to be making new connections now in the midst of some new-Motherhood isolation, especially with fellow creative folk (new friend referred to us collectively as Makers, a term I have certainly heard before, but had not applied to myself. I guess I associated this with more technology/cool geekery/rebellious creativity. But I much prefer it to "Artist," which I sometimes cringe from, for my own neurotic reasons; and which reaction has brought flak. But do I, we, make things? Most definitely! And it also carries with it the practicality, too, doesn't it? It conveys a sense of proactive being in the world, which I most definitely appreciate. Ahem.)

***Back at the house. With count-down to Dumpling arrival, behold some card designs:

Favorite color schemes right now

Toss up between which decorative paper is better. Table rim a big change in feel

Hopeful and happy to me

My ever-apprehensive woman, from the online dating print

A side design for the Cakeasaurus Picture book, guest appearance as card

Bonus shot, with Fisher Price Chime Ball

"You Told Me to Come Heavy..."

"...So I did, but I don't want to use it" -- Tony Soprano, to Junior.

Revisiting The Sopranos, season one, to focus myself during carving this time.

 Tony is trying to manage both his mother and Junior.

In one of my favorite episodes-I-had-forgotten-about, Tony is taking Meadow around on a college tour when he sees a potential informer enrolled in the witness program -- which needs to be addressed -- Meadow is astounded by her Dad's outrage over her confessed drug use, which she somehow though he'd take calmly, since he (kinda) admitted to being in the mob; meanwhile, Carmela is snuggling up to her weaselly father (religious, not familial) as they drink wine and watch movies together. Woohoo, bring on the moral relativism! When Javier and I were addicted to Breaking Bad, this was always what we returned to -- how adeptly the series explored increasingly fraught moral ambiguities. Based on the best TV out there, there seems to be no getting away from it. It would seem that this lay at the heart of almost all great, compelling Art.

And of human identity? Surely even the most lily white among us departs from the written rules, at some point? Bahhh, easy to delve into, easy to set aside, as one is carving in the basement, on a Sunday evening. This two-page spread marks our initial view of our young protagonist, Quimby.

Ready for a test print!

Seemed fitting to break out a meat tenderizer, with Soprano viewing

Here be dragons!...of a sort.

New Pencils, Pristine Erasers, and Alluring Paper Birds

Next week I'm taking a drawing basics workshop to freshen myself up a bit, so this afternoon I popped over to Hollander's with my art supplies print out. So gratifying! I have a specific need to purchase new art supplies, outside my normal card-making and print-pulling realms. The best part of that first-day-of-school feeling, with none of the worry about buses or rosters or crushes being too near or too far. Since today was a bring-the-baby-to-work day for Javier, I restrained myself from getting sucked into all the pretty, pretty papers and cards as my projects were all waiting for me at home.

from ArtAngels website

It was, however, impossible not to notice the Mark Hearld cards planted next to the register. More precisely, the paper birds hanging above the display. Hard to say which desire came first: the desire to own them or the desire to be making and selling such lively and well done forms. His tri-fold collaged cards of leaping rabbits (excuse me, hares, he's from the U.K.), snacking mice, and questing chickens all balance spontaneous freedom with the accuracy of a practiced hand.









 

No surprise, then, to learn that he started out at the Glasgow School of Art, and has excelled at printmaking, collage, and fabric design. 

 

You also learn from an intro video (above) that Hearld is a bit of a collector, positioning the buying, collecting and arranging of objects as "almost as satisfying as creating art"; one of his past exhibits ("The Art of Acquisition") explored this and made me wonder whether he and Maira Kalman have ever crossed paths. As he said, "I enjoy objects, so I have the feeling I want to design objects. People I admire have also designed objects...It's about enjoying the visual quality of things around you." I don't have much to add to this, except that it resonates strongly for me. And it brings me back to the curious interplay of appreciating, the desire to own, and the desire to make. 

from ArtAngels

 

 

 

 

Anyway, ain't he grand? Lisa Congdon published a nice image-laden post about him in 

2013...UK publishers Art Angels, boast an impressive artist list for their product lines, including the likes of Holly Meade, Nick Wroblewski, Angie Lewin (whose work I just saw for the first time this week, via Pinterest)...I'll definitely be trolling through their directory again. You can check out fabrics made by Hearld and other artists, here... And in his words, Hearld's Work Book looks like a behind-the-scenes visual feast.

Cakeasaurus Design Progress

I'm really excited about the two designs I just pulled! My most recent studio times were well spent and differently meaningful, as they were the first such days as a mother. Javier texted me a few photos of Baby asleep in her swing, or laughing into her Grandpa's face, and I was able to happily motor along, spinning the printing wheel, holding each block up to the light, to make sure ink was evenly distributed. Satisfying days. All the more so, naturally, since the designs are fun and help to move the story along:

Page 5, approximately; edition of 25

Whereas "Cakeasaurus...Dreamt of Cake" is a bit rougher and more textured, "One Fateful Night"* feels a little slicker to me, almost possessing a 50's jaunty air. Since I have been carrying this project out over the years, around the edges, you could say, the images vary in approach and feel. This has definitely led to me reassessing and redrawing on numerous occasions -- and of course I worry about continuity and consistency -- and yet, part of me**
is confident these variations actually make the project more interesting and readers will accept it, as long as I do. Reactions?

*will be added to Etsy soon.
**conveniently delusional?

Page 17, approximately; edition of 30

I shared a few process shots in prior posts, but more photos available here. 

Spreads the Wealth...Addendum

Thursday: I am standing at the intersection of Liberty and 5th, floating in my own haze, until someone calls my name. I glance over and sure enough, local coolness maven Stephen stands on the opposite side of the street; he is already removing a length of corrugated cardboard from a bag.

We meet on my side, "Have you been to Bon Bon Bon? Go to Bon Bon Bon! Look how they package them. This is for ONE piece of chocolate. They're out of Hamtramck (Detroit, for out of town readers). They have a Vernor's flavor. Go buy your man some chocolate." When we had met previously, and spoke about Kent Ambler's prints, he said, "get your fiance to buy you "The Messenger," sure, he should buy it for you. Or buy it for him, and say, 'Here I bought this for you, I'm going to hang it here,' and then you have a present taken care of."

I was easily swayed, with the chocolate anyway. I had already been curious about the pop-up businesses in the old tiny Jerusalem Garden location. Katoi, the Thai restaurant was closed for the evening, due to an event in Detroit, but Bon Bon Bon was actually in its first official day of business (Thursday of Art Fair). So, what to do but get a few chocolates?

I snagged #15 for Javier

and #94 for myself.

Quite good, but gone too quickly

They're $3 a pop, but that's artisanal for you. Many more flavors to try.

I am chomping at the bit to try Katoi in Exile's Thai food -- was hoping Javier & I could swing by there while we still had some childcare, but looks like more work has popped up on his end. Takeout? Hmmm. In any case, check them out while you can: both businesses will be occupying the space through the end of Summer. Article (mostly on Katoi) here.

*** Friday's Addendum to Thursday's Addendum: We lugged the car seat and stroller into Javier's Escape (he's the master lugger) and got ourselves the last table in Katoi's outdoor seating area last night. A lovely experience! I didn't take any notes or pix, as I was hangry by the time Javier got home from work, Baby deemed us done with nursing and we could leave...but the darkening sky and the twittering birds in the vine-covered wall of Earthen Jar* mesmerized the bebe, and we were quickly and well fed. The menu changes daily, with a handful of popular repeats (like the Khao Soi); special focus on hyper-local sourcing and nose-to-tail cooking. 

 *vegetarian Indian next door

Either of us would have happily scarfed down three helpings of the blistered corn appetizer (avocado puree + nuoc cham + crispy shallots), but luckily our lack of gluttonous forethought saved us; both entrees were full flavored and well balanced (numbing lamb noodle, Khao soi --> coconut curried noodle & chicken dish). We struck out on the Thai iced tea and sticky rice, but chalk that up to us arriving in the last hour of a tiny restaurant's operation.


I have been rather out of the loop for a bit, so no real shock that I didn't know Chef Brad Greenhill is apparently a big deal, with prior ventures in Boston drawing the attention of The New York Times, Bon Appetit, Gourmet; in Detroit, Righteous Rojo gained attention in 2013 before Katoi broke out in food truck form next to Two James Distillery (2014 Thrillist love here). Check out daily menu before going.


Fun fact: Katoi partners played the ballsy move of advertising staff openings on NYC.

Stephen Spreads the Wealth, Chris R-A Shares Very Brave Dog Tales (Art Fair, cont.)

It has been statistically proven that the average art loving person has a one in four chance of chatting with Stephen Kerr* at the Ann Arbor Art Fair**; once engaged in conversation, there's a one in one chance that he will offer suggestions/directives of artists to see and also inquire after any good leads. Thus, I was on the lookout on Art Fair Day 1, but we didn't cross paths until I walked into the Yourist Gallery booth on South U. at the end of the day.

*Six-years retired art teacher to legions of high schoolers and (former) 3rd-6th graders; 2nd (if not 3rd) generation optimist; printmaker, ceramicist, art collector, cultural roustabout and stirrer-of-pots. 

**based on study by the University of Michigan, naturally. How is "average" determined for a cultured individual? So many factors, it gets complicated fast. Just ask them.

Stephen was busy in conversation with Detroit mug ceramicist Centurium Frost (cool short video of his work on Fox News), but hailed me over. This was Centurium's first representation at this show and he looked a bit overwhelmed; however, browser attention seemed steady for his work, and for that of the booth at large. He told me the next day that he was also busy adding details to other pieces, at either end of the fair day, in order to supplement inventory. "It's hard to be all things to all people!"...or something along those lines. Hopefully he had a successful first AA Art Fair.

But on Wednesday, it was time to trade names. "Kent Ambler!" I told Stephen at the same time he whipped out the printmaker's business card. So, we were on the same page, there. "Nancy Gardner, her work is always beautiful," said Stephen, "Chris Bruno! He has this great horse, I took a picture. He's all self taught. Step into the shade, I'll show you." We hovered in the shade of the neighboring tent, until we were in the path of the artist/space owner: "Coming through~~"

courtesy of Stephen Kerr

"Have you seen this couple? They've dressed identically for over 20 years, they design most of their own clothes. The hats they're wearing they designed for the Guggenheim. Even what they carry in their bags is identical. I asked if I could give them my business card and they asked if I had two. It's all about breaking down barriers."

Jesse and Ricardo (last names not used) collectively go by "Art in Tandem," they travel worldwide and welcome interaction with strangers. Get more acquainted with them on DailyKOS (includes short video interview) and through the Erie Reader (their hometown).

If the photo background looks familiar, it's because you've probably been in Peaceable Kingdom a million times by now. It's one of Ann Arbor's best browse-about art/folk art/jewelry/tchotchke boutique shops with the added bonus of fairy doors and occasional Russell terriers clicking their nails over the hard wood floors. Jesse and Ricardo were attending Thursday night's meet and greet with Michigan's own textile artist Chris Roberts-Antieau.

at Peaceable Kingdom, S. Kerr

You're probably already well aware of Roberts-Antieau's grooviness (as is Oprah, Time magazine, which called her work "Joy and a Bit of Scary" in 2013; Huffington Post, which deemed it "bright, ingenious and downright [Maira] Kalman-esque"). See also the opening documentary sequence about her (subtitled "A Love Letter to Tom Waits"). I attended another Ann Arbor pop-up event of her's a few years ago and posted photos then.

But what fuels her work? Why not go to the source? Hopefully you can read below. It will make your day better, trust me. This is excerpted from a warm, inspirational artist hand-out at the event, urging us not to give up on our own dreams ("You need that," said Stephen as he walked past me, and I couldn't tell whether that was a "You who-obviously-have-an-overactive-internal-critic need that" or "You, being human, need that," but he was right either way):

Hopefully you can read above? Artist connection with PK

Obviously, these images will not do. Visit official website, or google...

The bad news is I missed "Art in Tandem" by going later, and worse news is that you may have missed the Meet and Greet entirely and Roberts-Antieau has probably flown home to her gallery in New Orleans by now. The Great news is that Peaceable Kingdom is featuring a lot more of C R-A's work than they normally do -- through the end of the Summer -- so you can you go bask in the insight and humor of this renowned artist. Hop to it!