Mommy: It is the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! WE have discussed this. We are NOT waking YOU up in the morning ~~
PS Daughter: Mommy! I have to TELL YOU SOMETHING~
Mommy: When you wake up, you may put on your clothes, or come snuggle with us and one of us will get up with you~~
PS: YOU COME TO MY ROOM TOMORROW MORNING AND WAKE ME UP.
Mommy, being Mommy, then took several hours to fall back asleep. Setting one up for a lovely day with diminished patience and waning coping skills.
Next night, 4:30 AM-- wild card!
PS: Mommy. MOMMY. I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
Mommy: It's the middle of the night. What's UP?
PS: My tummy? is rumbling. And my lips are shut.
PS: I think there's a cricket in my belly
Mommy: There is NOT a cricket in your belly! WE LOVE YOU GO BACK TO SLEEP
PS: Or a little animal
Mommy to Daddy: Oh my F'ing G-d
Daddy to Mommy: I'm goin' in.
And it was very good he did so, as it became apparent that the cricket anxiety was somewhat deep -- if not the cricket itself -- and it's harder than you might think to convince preschoolers of...well, anything. About 98% of the time they are pretty damn sure that they can walk into any given situation and inform everyone else of the underlying rules, any weirdo different dimension exceptions, and how all of it usually leads to them getting a treat to eat. There were no treats in this case. Luckily her stomach rumbled while he was in the room.
PS (whispering): DID YOU HEAR THAT
Daddy: Yes, and you know? My tummy rumbles A LOT and often sounds like that. You don't have a cricket in there~~
PS (with barely restrained contempt): BUT HOW do YOU know, You're NOT A DOCTOR (quieter) I need to go to a doctor~~
Daddy: Because honey, an animal? Or an insect? If it got all the way into your tummy? It couldn't be alive anymore. It would be dead.
Remarkably, this seemed to calm her. He soothed her a bit, and she went back to sleep. And then we all...eventually...went back to sleep.
Next night, the middle: DADDDDDDDDDDY???
She had a bad dream, a large crow had tried to eat her and myself and so there was more soothing needed. Lots of *something* going on with the girl, which will doubtlessly shake itself out. In the meantime, sleep while the sleepin's good!